Reading Response Posting #3

Reta is an interesting character. She is a writer; she lists her works at the very start of the novel, including her translated memoirs of a old and wise French feminist, a woman who is both her friend and confidante. Her tendency as a writer is to live very much in her head and internalize her observations and feelings, a trait in many writers to they can better observe and understand their surrounds. Reta is searching to understand in the ways she knows how, by running things over in her mind to familiarize herself to them. She has friends she can talk to, but her conversation with others give away little of the turmoil within her. There is a slight sense of strain as she talks to people, like the librarians who treat her like glass. One of them was the one who located Nora and now they keep a constant vigil of books by Reta's side. Something she both needs and feels awkward receiving. Instead of discussing with other characters she uses herself as a soundboard for her own thoughts. These factors lead to events and emotions piling up in her head, one on top of the other. Soon they becoming a weight that makes it hard to function. But, of course, as a person of responsibility she must.

When something as big as a child is missing from a family it is impossible to think of things continuing, but meals have to be made, laundry has to be done, the world has to turn. This strikes Reta as she is cleaning a counter. Despite everything, 'I am still I, though it's hard and harder to pronounce that simple pronoun and maintain composure' (Unless 197). A huge piece of her is gone but she must still carry on. She does normal things like spread mulch in the garden and meet her writing group for lunch but always on her mind is Nora. It has been said that occupying yourself with other things and keeping busy are the best ways to help one move on from sadness. Reta's tendency as a writer feeds into her thought process so that even while she is talking to her publisher she is thinking about Nora. She is in the midst of writing a sequel to her book and, though it's coming alone and ideas still seems to spawn themselves in her mind, it causes her guilt.

How can she write while he daughter is on the street corner?

How can she function?

How can she breathe?

There can be no solace for her because forgetting and beginning to let go is just as bad as dwelling. Each feels as though it is an abandonment of her child and, as a mother, this is terrifying to her. This is a mother's guilt, for being a mother is essential to what Reta is; a woman who cares about those around her, especially her children.